Chapter 1
Beep. Beep. Beep. It has been the dullest past month for Sean. All the technical support to sustain his life could not sustain his exuberant character as he was once. The only anticipation of his existence no longer dwelled on his future prospects, but rather when would that annoying, consistent “beep” would skip or stop. It did not matter whether he had his eyes closed or opened, because either way he would find himself in oblivion, and helpless.
The hopital cell where he was placed in was of extravagance because he would have the whole room by himself. Usually, a patient ranging from low middle-class to average burgeosie would have to share with five others; shared-rooms were located in the lower floors. Many people probably can afford a solitary hospital care room such as this, but his sentence was indefinite and because of such condition most people would just share it. It was not that his parents were financially better off, rather his parents took a great deal in caring and loving him.
Sean would always get more than what he would ask for from his parents. It was typical of his parents to get him a whole set menu when Sean would only ask for an entrée. He did not have the courage to reject the offer thinking that he would just passover any potential conflicts. Then everything would be trashed, besides what he had requested in the first place; he was stubborn in his own way.
The hospital was located at the highest altitude in Seoul, his room being at the top of twenty-floor building. Although the city was infamous for crowded and busy life style, his room seemed to have been placed in different dimension because the window faced towards the empty mountain. At night, there would be nothing but dimming stars in the sky. In the morning he had the privilege of bathing before anyone in the warm sun of the day. Privilege, most visitors would compliment about Sean’s room because there was nothing else to say to soothe his predicament. Curse for Sean, because he no longer saw any hope in those bright lights.
Instead he would feel even more condemned by the awakening of new day. He knew that people of his age would get ready for the day to embrace the opportunities and adventures that lie ahead of them. Either way, it is funny how couple months ago, he was an opportunist and adventurist like anyone who he now envies but never felt grateful at the time. Now that he is confined in his hospital room, he feels even more ungrateful to the fact that he actually never took any opportunities given to him nor found anything exciting in his busy, yet monotous schedule.
His only consolation was that it did not matter to be confined in bed or in the busy streets. Only difference was that he had too much time to reassure of his confinement than being preoccupied to even cogitate upon it. Once, when he was healthy, he would wonder how wonderful it would be to live life as his dog, Roonie. Roonie would be fed twice everyday around the appropriate time of the day. He would excrete without having to worry how dirty his environment would get. He could sleep anytime of the day. Sean feels otherwise nowadays and more sympathetic towards all the dogs in the world. He would chuckle at the thought, and wonder being human is not so great after all because he has conscious to even feel sympathy for Roonie.
In high school, he was the center of attention, envy, admiration, and everything amongst his peers and teachers. He was probably one of the brightest student in the school’s history. He was very athletic for he joined varsity football, basketball, and baseball team during his freshmen year. He was the quarterback, point guard, and pitcher in respective sports. Of course, it seems surreal, but evidence shows that his coaches had to fight with one another to get him to their practices more often. Although his humility would not claim its truth, he did lead his school from division three to one in those sports. His positions which his athletic capabilities enabled to suit him was also reflectory in social skills as well. He was just a natural born leader. He knew the business of celebrity as many would follow him mentally and physically. He did not isolate himself in any set clique; he was like a brother to any of the core members in high school clique, the jocks, the nerds, the emos, the bands, the outlaws, the addicts, the majority, etc. It was as if he was the clique in whichever clique you might have belonged to, and every freshmen in the new year would learn of his character before the principal’s name.
When he was fully grown he was five feet and eleven inches tall. He had smooth curls in his long hair which was unusual for typical Korean-American. He had slim, yet muscular physical appearance. He never stopped anyone from approaching him whether it was with kindness or challenge. Also, he never stopped anyone from leaving him, but this was not usual. Probably less people left him than the total number of days of snow in Los Angelels during the winter season. However, just like any leader would have his own comfort zone and confidants, he had his own selection of members. His group of intimate friends were dynamic: the rich, the hungry, the addict, the mischievous, and him, the leader.
Maybe because he began to despise the sun light, he would be most awake during the darkest hours of the day. As if he did not felt lonely enough, there was certain calmness of the night that attracted Sean. He also wanted to be left alone, if possible throughout the whole week. He would actually break out of the norm and request to his families to leave him alone. Partly, he realized others’ emotions were secondary and his primary. However, being soft and kind as he naturally is, he was only half successful and compromised two or three times a week so that they would visit him.
In many starry nights, there was a brief moment in his sickness that would give him the slightest reason to live longer. It was the moment when he would recall even younger youth with his friends. There were always five of them. Five seemed like the perfect number because of his friends and Sean. It has been so long; it has been seven years already since their last reunion. Everyone is on their different tracks in life since seven years ago. A lot has happened come to think of it, from the last days together until now. Sean knew that due to his sickness his parents have cried the most, but if his last days are having its significant counts on him, he would have the most laugh with his four friends. It would be very soon for the five to reunite because Sean’s news have been dispersed.
‘I wonder what they are up to at this moment, are they admiring the same immense sky with so many stars tonight? How will they react when they see me? How did they react when they first heard that I have been diagnosed with cancer?’ Sean wondered as he stared through the window displaying pure darkness except the countless stars.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
 |
| Starry Night. Vincent Van Gogh 1889 |
