Notion of Justice in Modern Society

Probably the longest and most disputed argument since the dawn of humanity revolves around the topic, justice. However, I do not wish to paint the grey matters of justice neither black nor white today. I just want to share, in my humble opinion, what gives shapes and colors to justice, individually then consequently as a society itself.

Besides the obvious counterexamples, such as murder, steal, and etc., what do we use to define justice? Straightforwardly speaking, I think what we are used to or accustomed to frames our notion of justice. I hold certain values within which my personal experiences have allowed me to prioritize. These accumulated experiences are possible only through the environment I am directly or indirectly exposed to, thus what I am gradually accustomed to. Then these priorities of values emerging from the experiences comprise my notion of justice.

For example, we live in a society where an individual suffers no hierarchy of blood types. No person is unequally treated or more susceptible to injustice depending on blood types. Why? Besides the absurdity of such criteria to discriminate groups of peoples, we are well aware of the fact that blood types are insignificant factor in constituting our differences. How so? Because, we are not accustomed to such differences posing any significant considerations to elicit justice or injustice. Hence, we do not hold any values in such discrepancy. But say, hypothetically with permission of some irrationality, one is born and raised in a quarantined society where such physical trait is undeniable factor determining superiority over others, he or she will perceive such system of hierarchy as justice. Similar to caste system in India, any revolt or challenge brought up by lower class to upper class might be seriously deemed as injustice, therefore justice must be served by penalizing the revolter. By my personal notion of justice, all this sound ridiculous and maybe to you too, if you are living in similar society as mine. Nonetheless, have you ever wondered, why some people, according to your own notion of justice, are so oblivious to the fact that what they are doing is injustice? The same people you point finger to, can be pointing at you with the same rationale.

So justice seems dependent on collective actions which the society permits, especially in democracy. What society permits or prohibits are dependent on what people agree upon among themselves to allow or disallow, therefore becoming accustomed to them. As time progresses, this continuity of actions or inactions shape our values and finally, perceived as notion of justice.

Then the next question is, is justice directly shaped by our collective preferences? It seems that there are some matters of justice which are immutable, such as killing of another strictly prohibited. However, although extreme, it is possible that anything about what we define justice can be altered, due to influence of collective preference in a society (e.g. premarital sex was strictly prohibited in biblical times, but not so much in modern society). There might be arguments against such opinion, proposing that there are foundational black and white spectrums of justice, and anything in between (grey area) can be suitably altered by the changing environments of society. But then, this argument brings the debate back to zero, if not supporting the idea that collective preference shapes justice. In order for one to consider what's black and white and grey about justice, one must have had such belief instilled by the environment he or she is exposed to. So what is justice? Justice, especially in modern society, is a sketch book, which the hands of individuals within the society all grab a piece of crayon (collective preference) and draw as they see fit.

(Note: I was doing LSAT prep test at a coffee shop. I apparently took a longer break than my intention. Please have the generosity to give me some leeway in my unfurnished thoughts and writing. I really didn't feel like spending sufficient time to carefully craft this.)   ; )

Being Single in Seoul at This Moment in my Life

Before unveiling my state of mind, all readers of this opportunity should have some clear perspectives about me. My first relationship with a girl started in senior year of high school. Of course, I am talking about first serious relationship and if you would like to know what comprise the term "serious relationship", then that is something you need to ask me in person. However, the objective of this exclusive exposure about my "single" mentality has no need to touch upon the term.

So ever since then, I had continuous relationship. My relationship status has not changed for eight years since then, only the girls. I am not purposely trying to be ostensible about my adroit skill with girls. For that matter, my present status and what I am about to share will prove otherwise in the upcoming words. However, just as bees are attracted to flowers and upon preference of which the flowers don't have, my approach to them was inevitable and undeniable.

I was the Don Corleone's "offer" to girls.

Anyone, seriously intimidated by the previous words may challenge me by saying I was only infatuated with girls, therefore probably didn't have clear cut standards of girls to date. Ladies and gentlemen, subject of beauty is subjective and I was honest with myself at all times when it came to selection of flowers. Just as the seasons change, different species of flowers receive different special spotlights. I should've became a florist.

Enough about the past, now I would like to share what I think about myself being a single. As some of you might know, having a relationship in Seoul is about showing that they are indeed in a relationship. All these significant rituals and holidays, which all couples must succumb to, make them ironically insignificant because that is what all of them do. Hundredth day celebration, Valentine's day, White day, 200th day, 300th day, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the list goes on; I mean there are even couple sales at stores, couple events at restaurants, not to mention the boom of couple clothes, accessories, shoes, and who knows, you name one and sell it in S. Korea, you would be an entrepreneur. But, truthfully, I am also fully convicted in partaking of the national movement of couples.

So it is common for me witness couples' conspicuous expressions of love, which is adorable and cute. But being single in Seoul is sort of an eternal damnation because you see these behaviors everywhere you go. I mean EVERYWHERE. Their behavior is so common that people without significant others' actions are highlighted. Usually, when you see a couple doing there lovely things, people notice them. In here, heaven for couples and hell for others, it's just the other way around. For example, suppose let's say you go to a coffee shop by yourself to write a blog about "Being Single in Seoul at This Moment in my Life". You start to notice glances around you which are all pairs of pair of eyes. You try to act indifferent by having your sight fixed onto the monitor, and by all means their glances are not hostile, rather more pitiful.

I never knew until at this moment, how it sucks not to have a girlfriend. I always thought that I can always scout around for more flowers and being single never mattered. Honestly, I haven't been a single for more than 3 months, if my memory serves me correctly. Getting a girlfriend was like as if going to a refrigerator to drink coke if I had indigestion. But don't get this analogy misconstrued, I was honest and passionate about all my relationship with all the beautiful people I've met. I'm just saying, starting such romance was that natural for me. Then you ask, at this moment, why don't I find one now. Well, that is for the next blog, so keep yourself updated.

<To Be Continued>

Music

At a family vacation house, near the outskirts of Seoul, we decided to take some time off from subconscious toil brought within the city. Purple horizon partly hiding behind wildly orchestrated sea of mountains, we started a camp fire, flicker of light amidst impending, immense darkness. In far distance, highway full of cars can only be seen as absurdity in nature's magnificent presence.

There, we sat around the flicker being hypnotized with nothing particular in mind, but particularly by the dancing swords of flame. To arouse the serene mood even more, I played some songs with my Tab. To my remembrance, the list was of 'Sunny' by Bobby Hebb, Bill Wither's 'Just the Two of Us' and more of the similar harmony.

Minutes seemed like hours, and how I wished these hours would be eternal. My father broke the peace with a remark, "너 많이 성숙해졌구나? 정신상태가 많이 차분해졌어. (You've matured, your mental state is calmer)".

My list of music probably had reflected my state of mind to him.

"예전엔 무슨 '뻑뻑뻑'하는 노래만 듣고 다녔는데. (Before you only used to listen to music with 'fuck, fuck, fuck'.)"
He went on and continued, "무슨 오리새끼나오는 노래만 듣고 다녔잖아~ (You used to constantly listen to music that sounded like duck-quaking)."

By then, I almost fell from tilted chair laughing hideously about his metaphoric comments about my past musical preference.

It was a pleasant, shameful, and progressive self-reflection upon that comment. Pleasant, because I remember delightful memories from the past. Shameful, because I know at that time I had this very bitter, pessimistic, cynical, twisted, and FTW mentality. Progressive, because I have changed of which at the past moment thought I would not change or couldn't imagine myself to be, but still am. Many thoughts intermingled as the warmth of fire greeted me with luxury of comfort to reflect myself.

'Yes, I did quit that 'duck-music' for good', thought to myself with an inevitable smirk.

Sauna

Two sets of inclined bench press, then three sets of curl-ups. Four sets of butterfly, then six sets of triceps. Two more of each inclined bench press and curl-ups. Ten minutes of running with jogging intervals. Drank a bottle of gatorade throughout. Hit the showers then spa, warm to hot, then to cold. Finally, the sauna.

Two friends were fatigued. The workout has drained the last ounce of their energy as if age hadn't enough already, but not their friendship. They enjoyed each other's presence. Lying down in the steamy sauna, it was hard to make out what was in front of them.

A friend asked to the other, "What does it mean to be an idealist? Can it mean a fool without perception of reality?" The other friend acquiesced, "Romanticist would be a good synonym."

"Then what do you call an idealist who is capable enough to have his ideas put into reality, be able to have what others considered churlish propositions elusive of reality into practicality? Does it no longer mean that the person is an idealist because he became a realist by his action? It doesn't seem fair to idealists, and then only the realists will take credit for everything, while idealists will continue to be considered as fools."

The sauna was reheating the moist room with more steam. The sound resonating with heightened temperature.

The other friend replied, "No, I would call him a miracle-maker."

Each was briefly preoccupied by the thought, more so for the one who brought up the topic.
'Miracle-maker,' he thought. Having made the last response, the friend continued, "There aren't many in this world."

The steam was thick; heater turned off. Silence lingered and it was visible through the steam.

Finally one friend broke the silence, "Fuck, it's getting hot."
"It burns, it burns!" screamed the other as they got up closer to the ceiling on their way out.

Beyond Realization

I know that my time in this world is temporary. I find purpose not of this world, but in afterlife. But the ironic twist of this belief is that I have no clue as to what exactly awaits for me there. I've been given only a simple task to live this life with love for God, which to many seems foolish, and not so even clear as to how to do so myself. There are times when I am assured of my life's value in God, but in many other, I feel like I am deceived by my own justification to compensate the feeling of defeat in this world.

There's a comforting quote in the Bible that I can do anything through His grace. You can move the mountain with faith as little as mustard seed. I feel like a child again, full of dreams and wishes that are limited by none other. Yet, cynicism during the moments of my doubt elicits the greater fear of failure within me. Yes, at this moment, I may not see even the glimpse of what is capable to me through His grace, but what really is the boundary which can be surpassed with "mustard seed"? I feel better and more awakened by turning toward God. However, I feel like there's a link missing between me and His plans for me. Straightforwardly speaking, I am struggling to break out of bonds which have been blinding me from pursuing my true identity, duty, and happiness.

If I were to animate this phase of my life, it'd be a man chained to a tree on an island for so long. He has been budging continuously at times with futility, passion, hope, and despair which eventually broke the chain through incessant friction. There are vestiges of struggle in the chain as much as on his body, yet the initial escape has awakened him to pursue the greater freedom with enthusiasm. He does not belong in that island; he realized.

This is where I am. I tried looking for ships or planes. I tried writing on the beach. I've lit torches at night. I've lit fire to cause smoke. I've had dreams of myself just flying out of this island with celestial wings. Each time the initial enthusiasm abating. But the real danger is not the sense of being marooned; because I cannot be isolated when God is with me, although the world might think otherwise. I am afraid of becoming complacent in this island. I fear that I will learn to enjoy the emerald beach, the cool shades of exotic trees, and stability of peace in this island. And for all these, I am grateful nevertheless, but I will never come to appreciate to a greater extent than the boundaries here. There's nothing wrong with this choice of life, nor do I want to be judgmental of similar others. In fact, I can live a great life, a grateful and loving one, with God on this island. Also, it is not just my need to voraciously feed my curiosity to venture what lies before my eyes beyond this beautiful blue horizon. It is just that I cannot seem to extinguish the inextinguishable. This feeling, once again, that I do not belong here just cannot be blanketed. I've tried, but the more I try, I uncover just to see if it has disappeared; its presence more significantly defined ironically.

So the wise thing for me to do is to exploit the natural resources within this island, and build myself my own freedom. So much easier said than done. This is when the title of today's blog has its meaning. I realize what must be done. Beyond it, it requires belief and action. No one can come in to hand me a key to a boat. Because either God or I will not allow it; it's our relationship. So I know, but I'm tired. At this moment, I am not devising any plans or drawing any blueprints to the escape. Rather, I am sitting down on that beach even more dissuaded by the rain: only cogitating the plan.

Sigh~ (current status of deficiency in status quo)

It's been a while. I have kept myself occupied with relentless yearning for any improvement in the subject of studying, which will determine next four years of my academic experience; furthermore, it will surely influence my life to a greater extent. I have been diligent and persistent (never have I been to this extremity committed myself), yet this drudgery has failed me miserably. Come to think of it, I have never doubted myself as much as I have been these past couple days. I have never realized the fear of failure. I have never come to an acquiescence with my shortcomings. I consoled each time that it was the celestial method of maintaining humility, but without a glimpse of chance, even my condolence seemed pathetic.

Being too overwhelmed with my incapabilities to that of the inevitable obstacles, I boldly took two days off from my normal schedules.

Friday - After dinner, I didn't feel like doing anything. I skipped going to the gym and the study room. I laid on my bed, dully flipping through channels. The amusement was ephemeral, then sudden guilt of exposing myself to lack of creativity soon led me to another event. I was not fully convicted to go back to my studies, yet I decided to draw instead. Somehow, the art channel at 2 in the morning inspired me to vent off my stress in such fashion. So I turned off all my lights except the computer monitor displaying "Windows Media Player visual" with my favorite CD (Mika Nakashima) playing through my headset. I ended up with a piece called "Frustration" with water-colored pencils having dark backgrounds in uncertain patterns. Then in it, there is a person with flying hairs running away to nowhere (drawn distinctively with a red pen). Also there were irregular red lines all over the page with the intent of shaping a brain. In it, there are subliminal messages, "STUCK" and etc. It became 5 AM and I retired.

Saturday - I woke up at noon. Watched more TV programs, and dozed off on my sofa at 5 PM. Woke up from a nap(?) at half-past ten. Still angry, I refused to look at the study materials. Spent more time with idle box until I fell asleep.

Sunday - I got a blister on my lower lip. It was strange, because I knew I wasn't tired. Stress level starting to manifest, I was reminded of irritation. Going to church never seemed as hard as today, but it was something I have promised myself and to this date, it is probably the only successful new year's resolution, so I took resistant steps towards it. The gist of today's sermon was this, 'are our obedience, the impetus of selfish manipulation, or pure admiration for God?' I was, once again, appalled with my shortcoming. There were many times when I would vividly imagine my success and acclaim God's glory, but deep in my heart, I was more motivated by selfish desires, desire to let others know of my intellect, my success, my pride, my status, my integrity, my potential, and endless list of 'my ______ '. The truth of the matter is, I was keeping faithful of my religious practices and attitudes thinking that, despite others' ways of success, mine came from fidelity in God. After all, He is the infinite Giver of His capabilities for those who have definite faith in Him. I do not have even the slightest doubt about Him, but I became frail by the fact that perhaps I do not deserve His grace. Then it was today's message that had wakened me that I was just being manipulative.

So, I am at an impasse. I haven't the slightest idea of how I'm going to get past this phase. But what I came to conclude was that, my problems are insignificant compared to other matters of this world. I will just carry on with uncertainty of my success, but at least with certainty that I will not become ignominious at heart towards God, and also that my efforts will not fail Him, who wishes the best for me.


picture: http://www.google.co.kr/imglanding?q=frustration&um=1&hl=ko&newwindow=1&sa=N&tbs=isch:1&tbnid=Pg932K-7K4HM7M:&imgrefurl=http://www.robertomoretti.com/blog/&imgurl=http://farm1.static.flickr.com/119/296367267_b035d8f908.jpg&ei=sBWPTa3cJ4uIvgO-wIycDQ&zoom=1&w=500&h=333&iact=hc&oei=QBWPTdLQNIjevQPnqLyuDQ&page=13&tbnh=129&tbnw=194&start=175&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:175&biw=1024&bih=612

엄마.

Edison had many questions which seemed impertinent at that moment. Nevertheless, he became as we all know.

"엄마, 왜 엄마는 엄마의 엄마를 엄마라고 부르는데, 왜 난 엄마의 엄마를 엄마라고
 부르지 못하는거야, 엄마?"

"야, 임마!"

Any guesses on what she will become?
Leave your answers on the comment box below.