Knowing that without clarification and
Flying fists don't resolve anything but
Things get coiled even stricter
I let loose of my fury's boa constrictor.
It used to be that, a fist full of gist of my anger would suffice.
With age, I know that it doesn't make me fly, but another chain restricted.
My biggest fear is that, I cannot give back what I have secretly promised.
Promise without recognition, you suppose, exists no fear.
But more than keeping them, I have failed these promises.
I promised to be good to those who were good to me...
But have I been good?
I saw a film recently, of a man desperately with fury calling out to God for the last resort.
Unresolved ending with viewer's discretion as how it ends,
My biggest fear is that God does not hear me. Preceding fear overruled.
Yeah. That is my biggest fear.
People tell me that I'm an idealist who refuses to face the reality.
My priority was based on somewhere in the vagueness beyong this world's reality.
And everytime they said so, it infuriated me.
But the truth is that, with abhorrence to admission, it extinguishes more flame then I can feed.
Funny, how the word, "Fuck!" can have so many different meanings.
Funny, how the word, "Fuck!" can have much more profundity than any other decent words.
Funny, how the word, "Fuck!" suffices me, yet it will never to you.
So I say, "Fuck You"... at least then you will be as much as offended as I am struggled to say such barbaric words, with or without concerning you in the first place.
If I maintain my resilience and succeed, then I can have an inspirational story to tell about how I stuck with my principles.
ReplyDeleteIf I maintain my resilience and fail, then I will hear the never-ending "tsk tsk" and the story will be disgusted into those who interpret them at their will.
If I change and succeed, then I can talk about myself with humility, but myself overshadowed by others' discretions.
If I change and fail, then I will kill myself.
So what do you think?
God, more and more, in this fine world, I feel I'm out of place. It's taking me near 30 years to know the struggle. They say that You are dead, but, with forgiveness, I do not blame them.
ReplyDeleteI'm no saint, and I am not cut to become any of Your disciple. But one thing, of my selfish reasons maybe, I don't want to give up on You.
These times are hard, and I know they are not the hardest, but they are truly hard.
How come I don't see, smell, feel, hear, or taste you....